A homeless man recently asked me if I could spare any change. I almost never carry cash (which annoys my family) and didn’t have even a dollar to give. But I did happen to have a container of granola with me and offered it to him figuring he was hungry. He graciously accepted while commenting, “Granola. That’s that healthy stuff, right?” I replied with an inordinate amount of excitement, “Yes! And it’s packed with protein, full of fiber, and rich in Omega-3 and 6…”

As I heard myself, I simultaneously thought “Stop talking, Irene. The poor man is cold and hungry. He doesn’t wanna hear your nutrition spiel.” Yet I continued. It’s as if I was a train without brakes. Just stop already. And puhleeeease, don’t ask him if he has gluten or nut allergies.

I never know exactly what to say to strangers. Case in point from an encounter two weeks ago. Moments like these I never want to forget, so I took notes when I got back to the car after finishing this last taper run before my Napa race:

Another picture perfect day at my happy place. Hip felt better so I ran an easy 3 around the reservoir then down to the docks for some stretching. There was already a man sitting with his two fishing poles. As he stood up to re-cast his line, I could see he was quite large and a little intimidating dressed in all black covered in tattoos. I said a quick hello as I walked past him to get to a quiet spot near the end of the 20 foot dock. I settled in and closed my eyes as I started my stretches. Ah, a peaceful warm day. Birds chirping, ducks quacking. And then the rap music. Before I go on, I have to acknowledge that my own kids have labeled me THE most basic mom they know. Basic? I didn’t even know that was a term until it was applied to me. Apparently the term encompasses everything from my high-maintenance espresso orders, to my wearing matchy-matchy Lululemon all over town especially at Costco , and to my (ahem) taste in music. So, as all basic moms these days do, I immediately assumed this stranger’s music was just noise. BUT my whole week’s lesson was on listening for more of God…and now THIS. Ughhh. I hate rap music. Almost as much as country music. I can’t tell him to turn if off. He was there first. Plus he’s really big. But I could probably outrun him if he gets mad at me. Wait, it’s taper week, so I’m not supposed to over exert myself. Okay, I’ll just keep quiet. Next thing I know, his music is blasting the word “Jesus.” Oh great. It’s not only rap music, but it’s the swearing kind. I couldn’t tune it out. Then I heard the words “Holy Spirit,” “His Kingdom,” and “Heavenly Father.” And I listened more intently. This probably went on for over 30 minutes since I ended up listening to this stranger’s entire playlist. Funny thing, I actually enjoyed his music. Some really deep, moving lyrics not meant for the typical Sunday-only-worshipper. I would’ve stayed longer, but the wind picked up. As I got up to leave, I said to the stranger “That’s good music, bro!” He looked surprised (I can’t imagine why…ha, ha) and said “Thanks!” Then he told me the artist was a Christian rapper named Bryann Trejo. He also showed me the fish he had just caught. And in that moment, perhaps still caught off guard by God’s sense of humor or just my lacking anything creative to say, I said to the stranger “You know, you’re also a fisher of men.” He smiled and said “God’s blessing be with you.”

I went into the Napa Valley Marathon two weeks ago without my iPod (prohibited on this course) but with a new determination to just listen to the sounds along the entire vineyard-lined 26.2 miles. When I think about the almost 200 races I’ve run since I started this crazy running journey in 2009, very few were run with my iPod. Perhaps I was under the impression that “serious runners” didn’t need music. After all, electronic devices are banned in races with awards and prize money involved. And certainly “no headphones” since you could be communicating with a coach or pacer. In previous Napa marathons, I’ve actually seen course officials “pull runners over” and DQ them for wearing headphones.

Typically I train with an iPod loaded with about 4 1/2  hours worth of music. My anticipated finish time or goal. As I hit the road two weeks before Napa for that last long training run of 20 miles, I realized that I forgot to charge my iPod. And then right before my half marathon the following week, the battery died at mile two since I hadn’t completely charged it the week before. Strange since I’m normally so OCD about race prep.

All this to say, I think God wanted me to unplug for awhile. And just listen.

And so I did.

Turns out God had a lot to say to me that morning. In between the sound of rain pelting the race shuttle bus to the start line, to the chirping of birds during the occasional periods of sunshine, to the unexpected hail hitting the asphalt at mile 16, to the strong headwinds blowing the wrong direction at mile 24…

In between all this fantastic smorgasbord of weather, God’s voice was loud and clear. I didn’t have headphones on, but I did hear my Coach telling me at one point to not fight an uncomfortable pace. This was early on in the race, and the goal was to possibly negative split which would not happen if I forced my pace too early on. I’d never read this particular version of the famous “Be still” verse until now:

‘God says, “Stop fighting and know that I am God!”‘              Psalm 46:10 ERV

“Be still, and know that I am God.”  Psalm 46:10 ESV

And so it went with my Coach and I for 26.2 miles. He had to constantly remind me to breathe properly. I’ve noticed recently that I’m almost holding my breath when I run. And definitely not exhaling completely. He kept repeating over and over again to take in more oxygen and release more carbon dioxide. Good air in, bad air out. Inhale Him, exhale me.

“He must increase, but I must decrease.”  John 3:30 ESV

If you’ve ever run with me, you know that I’m not a great conversationalist. Don’t get me wrong; I love running with friends. I just can’t seem to sustain a meaningful conversation while holding a reasonable run pace. Sometimes it feels like friends purposely ask me deep life questions while we’re running UP hill. Oh sure. Then they get to catch their breaths while I explain the meaning of life as I’m turning blue. It’s okay. Unlike me, they bring cell phones and can call 911 when I pass out.

Napa was my 39th marathon. And the marathon where I did the least amount of talking.

Every time I started to revert back to my usual negative thoughts like “why did I think I could PR today,” or “if only the camber of the road didn’t keep changing,” or “that next water station better be coming up soon,” or “my calves and quads hate me,” God literally reminded me to:

“…take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”       2 Corinthians 10:5 NIV

And to not only submit every thought to Him, but also every step, every mile, every breath, every emotion.

So it was that I ran this race not telling God what to do, what I needed, and how I was feeling. Instead, I just listened.

*Photo credit: NVM (start line and vineyard pics)

Two years ago I wrote a blog post titled “I Hate Taper Week.”

Here I am again four days out from my fifth Napa Valley Marathon and my 39th marathon taper week. I went into this week once again hating taper week with its decreased mileage, nervous energy, phantom leg pains, and OCD eating. But something changed on day three.

Grappling with mild hip pain, yesterday I “forced” myself to just walk where normally I would be running at a spot I affectionately call my Happy Place. The reservoir, nestled in the hills of Lafayette with spectacular views of Mt. Diablo, is now my go-to for hill training, speed work, and really any distance run. For reference, I never walk for training. It doesn’t fit in my training plans, and I can’t technically log the miles in my app. I mean, I could; but then I feel like I’m cheating.

My Happy Place aka The Lafayette Reservoir has been my trusty training partner since I began this crazy running journey in 2008. But even before that, we shared many moments together.

The first time was when my now sister-in-law Alice very literally dragged me out of bed to go for our first run together in an effort to drop a few pounds before my wedding. After this tortuous routine went on for weeks, Alice lost ten pounds and I gained four. My wedding dress became too snug and my attitude on running even less comfortable and more annoying.

When I look back, many of my Happy Place memories involve trying to lose weight or maintain some form of fitness. Two kids later, in an effort to shed pregnancy fat, the reservoir trails again became my trusted training companion. But not without a few mishaps. Like the time I let go of the double stroller for truly a millisecond, and the stroller with my first born child went rolling into the ditch below. To this day, I can still hear Natalie screaming up until the moment a large bush stopped the stroller from flipping over or careening into the reservoir itself. Not my proudest mom moment; but in my defense, child #2 had been begging to walk alongside me instead of staying in the stroller with her sister. Is it my fault Meagan dropped her bottle and when I bent down to pick it up to prevent it from rolling off the path, Natalie decided at that moment to make the ride an E ticket instead of an A ticket ride? (Disneyland reference, if you’re under the age of 40.)

Misery loves company. Over the years I have made concerted efforts to bring my loved ones into my fitness obsession. My powers of persuasion often yielded wonderful family hikes at my Happy Place. But occasionally, the weather thwarted my best intentions. Like the time I insisted the weather forecast was wrong and even if it wasn’t, the threat of thunder and lightning would motivate us to finish faster. Is it my fault that it started to hail heavily halfway around the reservoir? FYI, park porta-potties will keep you from being pelted to death by marble-sized hail.

If you’re starting to wonder how exactly I started referring to the Lafayette Reservoir as my Happy Place after what seems to be many not-so-happy experiences, I think it just came to me one day when I least expected it.

I can’t remember for which race I was training; I just remember I had been struggling with some life choices and attitudes at the time. Nothing like a good run to relieve stress. But it was more than that.

It was my wrestling with some “hills” and “unexpected turns” in my life and quite literally crying out to Jesus during my run for direction, strength, peace, joy, and forgiveness.

Upon reaching the summit of several hills, I was greeted with such magnificent views that seemed to assault all my senses in the best way possible. I actually started to cry. Nothing about my circumstances had changed; life questions still hanging in the balance. God just took the focus off of me and back onto Him where it should have been from the start. The tears rolling down my cheeks were a salty blend of feeling humbled, feeling awed by the beauty of His creation, feeling overjoyed, and feeling sadness for all the times I’d missed out on Jesus wanting to spend time with me like this.

Yesterday my taper walk was three miles of exhaling me and inhaling Jesus.

“He must increase, but I must decrease.”  John 3:30 ESV

I noticed details along the way that I had never seen in the thirty years I have been traveling these exact same trails. I never bring my phone with me when I run; but I did yesterday since I was only walking. Pictures can’t capture the depth of the moment and how a view spoke to me. But I took some photos anyway. It didn’t hurt that yesterday was a perfectly gorgeous sunny day with barely a cloud in the sky.

Each time I saw a sight such as early spring blossoms or newly emerging grass along paths that were muddy only a few weeks ago, I couldn’t help but thank God for His goodness. I passed a few elderly couples, teens, and young moms along the way and was reminded to pray for my own aging parents as well as the urgent needs of a friend whose daughter is in the hospital experiencing great pain. An American flag flies high at the main entrance of the reservoir. My recent trips to the reservoir have been cold, rainy, and windy rendering this flag viciously flying for the duration. Yesterday, it was barely moving and not unfurled to its complete glory. I was reminded to pray for our country. All the times I have just passed by this flag without a second thought…

As I finished up with some stretches, I saw an empty bench behind me facing the lush green hills and glistening water. It was then that I did something I have never done in my thirty years of going to the reservoir. I sat down on the bench.

It felt strange at first and like everyone was staring at me. I actually pretended to do more stretches on the bench so as to not look out of place. Because who just sits on a bench?

When I finished my pretend stretches, I settled into a comfortable position and allowed myself to just be still, enjoying the warmth of the sun on my skin. I closed my eyes which somehow intensified the warmth. Once again, I exhaled more of me and inhaled more of Jesus.

“Be still, and know that I am God.”  Psalm 46:10 ESV

Ah, my new metaphor for taper week! Stop focusing on the stuff I think I should or shouldn’t be doing, and shift my attention to what God has already done in and around me. All the weeks and miles of training, all the carbo-loading, all the checking race day weather forecasts to determine my race attire…

“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?”  Matthew 6:25-27 ESV

As for taper week, I think I might actually start enjoying it.