Three versions of Psalm 18:36 ~
“You provide a broad path for my feet,
so that my ankles do not give way.” NIV“You cleared the ground under me
so my footing was firm.” MSG“You have made a wide path for my feet
to keep them from slipping.” NLT
The same verse but three different images of God’s hand in a journey of a thousand steps. Also could be construed as the best ad taglines for new trail shoes.
My trail running friends can surely appreciate the significance of each as I do.
Interestingly, I read this verse in an Oswald Chambers devotional on Christmas Eve, and it spoke to me in a fresh new way about what it means to get to the next peak. When I think of a peak, my mental image is an actual mountain peak – snowy, icy, with a crazed bearded oxygen deprived climber dangerously perched atop with barely enough room to plant both feet. Oh, the euphoria. The rush. The thrill. The reward. Unobstructed, 360 degree views of all of life’s struggles below. Now a distant memory. Moments ago threatening to rob the climber of his life’s work and victory steps away.
But this mental image was quickly shattered as I delved more into this verse and its non-trailrunning implications.
Having run close to a hundred trail races with average net elevations of 2,500 feet each, I am no stranger to the adrenaline rush of reaching the tops of many arduous climbs. However, since these are timed races, I don’t allow myself to linger there and enjoy the fruits of my labor. Even on hill training runs, I don’t hang out at these peaks for any significant length of time. I will acknowledge that I have run on some of THE most epically scenic trails in California, from which coast lines, mountains, and valleys provide breathtaking companions along the entire course.
So, why the rush to get to the next peak?
Perhaps my image of the peak needs to come into better focus. From afar, the peak is a peak. Something for which to strive. A goal to be reached. I never really thought about what to do once I get there.
My family and I enjoyed several days feasting on food and fun last week with both girls home from college. As one got on a plane back to campus yesterday, Christmas stuff to put away, and a few days left of vacation before I return to work, I hate to admit that I’m in a bit of a funk. This weekend I’m running two New Year’s half marathons back-to-back which I’m counting on to lift me up out of my self-created pit. Crazy therapy, I know.
Of course, with the countdown to 2017 closing in, I have to reflect back on all the peaks and valleys of 2016. Without going into painstakingly long details of each, I would summarize the year as one with the highest of highs and lowest of lows. Sounds like a couple of my hardest trail races this year – namely Double DipSea and Rocky Ridge.
Going back to the verse, did God “clear the path” and provide “sure footing” for me to simply go from one peak to the next? This question is particularly heavy for me with two days left until New Year’s.
Heavy. Feeling heavy not just from all the decadent dining over the holidays, but a heaviness from sensing that I can’t keep repeating over and over again the pattern that the Lord has allowed me to see in myself – both from the top of the mountain and from the valley below. God has faithfully “set my feet firmly” in so many precarious circumstances. Perhaps the most precarious this year has been doubting my purpose and calling. This is one very narrow, slippery slope to try to navigate without proper footing. In my mind and sometimes my heart, I have gone SO far off course…so many times.
I am overwhelmed by the thought that Jesus is my personal “search and rescue.” Even the times I didn’t want to be found.
When I think about all the poor decision making, hurtful words, wounding silence, self-defeating thoughts…
When I think about all the times I could have been seriously injured, turned ankles, minor trips/falls, near misses from accidents (like the time I ducked under a railroad crossing with an oncoming train because I was on pace to PR)…
Honestly, WHY would God want to keep helping me?
I’ve only gone off course once in a race. It was during the 2013 Diablo 50K. I can’t remember if I was following a runner or he was following me. In any case, we took a wrong turn and realized about a half a mile later. Not a big deal for ME since I was not setting any records that day. But he, on the other hand, must’ve been since I’ve never heard so many colorful expletives come out of one person’s mouth especially since the way back was a very narrow, rocky single track on which he kept tripping and turning his ankle. The teacher/mom part of me wanted to tell him that such language would surely land him in the principal’s office with detention.
At the end of the day (Dave’s favorite phrase), I finished that race just four minutes shy of my goal and injury free. I wanted to come in under eight hours, and maybe had I not gone off course I would have. But when I look back at that race, it’s the time spent between the peaks and valleys that I seem to remember most.
But wouldn’t it be great to always just live on the peaks?
I used to think walking (or running) closely with Jesus meant always “being on the mountain top” with Him. Or seeking out “spiritual highs.” Aka Jesus adrenaline junkie.
But He wants something much deeper and impactful. Clearing the path for me and providing firm footing are His way of saying “This is a pretty good place to be right now.” The peak is good, but it is not the goal.
I never bring my phone with me during races, so I am extremely grateful for friends who do and those brave race photographers perched on scenic precipices capturing moments I pray I remember. These moments are truly awe-inspiring. If only the camera could capture what it took to get there – in my heart and in my mind.
Perhaps God clears a path and sets my feet firmly so I can run more freely…and enjoy the moments with Him more between the peaks.
