Usually, those are words I look forward to hearing during a race.

Spectators often cheer runners on with those words along with “Almost there!” as well-intentioned encouragement even when there’s still ten miles to go.

But last Saturday, I never heard those words. In fact, the only cheering was from volunteers at the aid stations and along the flat part of the course…basically the last two miles.

I really didn’t know what to expect from marathon #32. I’ve done over a hundred races of various distances, but this one was the hardest of which to prepare. I’ve run trail races with NET elevation changes of almost 4,000 feet, but I’ve never run a road race with a 4,000 foot drop in the first thirteen miles. Period.

Why would I sign up for such a race? Two letters:  P.R.

As I turned 49 last month, it is not lost on me that it might just get harder as I approach 50 to improve on my race times aka Personal Record. So, it makes perfect sense to sign up for races with the most PR potential. And those courses typically have NET downhill elevations. California International Marathon and Mountains2Beach are good examples of “fast” courses. I can attest to their PR potential as I ran personal bests of 4:14 and 4:13 at those races.

Still, dreams of going sub-4 dance around in my head.

I did not go into last Saturday’s race with delusions of a sub-4 hour finish. However, I did think a PR was in my grasp if I ran those first downhill miles wisely. Months prior, I read up on specific downhill training tips and made frequent trips to my favorite hilly run place – the Upper Rim Trail of the Lafayette Reservoir. Some nice steep climbs and descents to be had here. But was it enough? I also added stadium step work and cycle classes to my weekly routine. Was THAT enough?

Spoiler alert: NO.

It has been three days since I crossed the finish line of the Revel Canyon City Marathon. Arguably one of the most beautiful and unique road courses I’ve run.

The shuttle ride up to the start (that took over an hour due to the narrow two lane road with hairpin turns) gave runners their first glimpse of the magnificent vistas they would enjoy.

It has been three days since I woke up at 3:30 am full of anticipation and indecision on whether to wear my compression tights or run skirt since the weather forecast predicted a chilly start and warm finish.

It has been three days since I gathered with 2,000 other crazies wrapped in space blankets engaged in friendly chatter while nestled in the humble redwood setting of the little Crystal Lake campgrounds in the Angeles National Forest, elevation 5,700 feet.

It has been three days since I still had hopes for a new PR. Three days since I could still walk normal. Three days since the sight of stairs didn’t reduce me to tears.

So, what went wrong? Actually, nothing.

It’s always prudent to go back and analyze what went well and how you’d improve. As I think back to the training, preparation, and actual race, I’m not sure I could’ve done anything more or anything differently.

Hindsight is always 20/20, right?

One of my favorite run-inspired Bible verses says:

“I know that I have not yet reached that goal, but there is one thing I always do. Forgetting the past and straining toward what is ahead, I keep trying to reach the goal and get the prize for which God called me through Christ to the life above.”  Philippians 3:13-14 NCV

God knows it’s in our human nature to revert to the “should haves” and “could haves” in our lives. But unless you intentionally went into a situation set on going against proper training, wisdom, and protocol, you actually could not have achieved any better results. Based on your knowledge and preparation going into any event, the “best” outcome is the product of applying both – which is different than the “ideal” outcome.

What do I mean by “ideal?”

Well, “ideally” my flight the day before the race would not have been delayed and I would not have sat around in an airport terminal or L.A. traffic for hours.  “Ideally” I would not have eaten my pre-race dinner at 8:00 pm as a result of the flight and traffic delay. “Ideally” I would not have pre-race jitters and be able to sleep my normal six hours comfortably. “Ideally” I would not have funky stomach from eating so late and need to stop at a porta-potty THREE times during a race. “Ideally” the temperature would stay at 60 degrees instead of climbing to 86. And, “ideally” I would not have run the first thirteen miles 30 seconds per mile faster than I should have.

If I keep focusing on what could have or should have been, I am preventing myself from fully enjoying what God DID allow to happen. I believe that is part of what the apostle Paul wrote about in Philippians 3.

I lined up at the starting area in between the 4:10 and 4:25 pacers. I ended up passing most of the runners in those groups NOT because I ran faster than the 4:10 pace, but because they succumbed to the quad shredding of the first thirteen downhill miles. I was surprised to see John, the runner I sat next to on the shuttle who had run this race last year, at mile 19…walking. He gave me good tips on the bus ride about not going out too fast and taking in the breathtaking views. We had lined up at the same place in the start corral. But when the starting gun went off, he took off and I didn’t see him until mile 19. I asked how he was doing (I had silently prayed for him at the start). He shook his head and replied that his quads were done. I said “Same here! But I’m gonna run in denial! Finish strong, John!”

Denial.

Deny fatigue the opportunity to keep me from seeking God’s presence. Deny circumstances a chance to take my eyes off of the true prize. Deny pain of robbing me of a strong finish.

Through running marathons, God has coached me on what He means when He says to keep my eyes fixed on Him, His goals for me, and His prize. During last Saturday’s race as well as many others (since I have only PR’d a few times), goals are adjusted to meet circumstances. The goal at the start line was PR – anything under 4:13. After mile 16 and my quads experienced what I had only read about in downhill training articles, the goal adjusted to anything under 4:20. When a couple of uphills showed up later (they looked flat on the elevation profile), the goal adjusted to 4:25. When temperatures reached 86, the goal adjusted to 4:30.

There’s nothing wrong with adjusting goals according to unforeseeable circumstances and physical demands (pretty sure slowing down the pace to avoid injury is acceptable). But MY MAIN GOAL – which cannot be adjusted – is to seek His presence and His ways above any earthly prize like a medal or a PR.

What does this look like on the race course? How do you do this while running?

These are some things I’ve learned to do over the years:

• I’ve got a whole arsenal of Bible verses memorized which somehow always seem to come to mind when I need it most and literally propel me to not give up.
• I’m constantly having conversations with God and telling Him how awesome it is that He even made this beautiful mountain (or ocean or forest) that I was descending. I’ve actually said “Good job, God!” when I see an incredible view.
• I see runners struggling at times, and I ask God to help them.

• I run with my iPod filled with pump-up jams from my fave Christian artists. Many of these songs are based on familiar Bible verses. At this particular race, Lauren Daigle’s “First” was my theme song. Can’t go wrong when you choose to seek Jesus FIRST before any other needs. But I’m definitely not limited to Christian music. I’ve made it a personal goal to take ANY song and run to it with a Biblical perspective. Yes, even “Turn Down for What,” “Titanium,” or “Mony, Mony.” (No comment Natalie and Meagan).
• I am reminded at mile markers to pray for family, friends, and concerns of my own. I have cried during runs. Big, sobbing, heaving cries. That’s a good thing when God brings you to tears.

Praying for others during a run remarkably takes my mind off of my own misery and even makes miles seem to go by faster.

I dedicated this particular marathon to my little friend Nico currently battling leukemia. At mile 22 when it was hot, I felt nauseous (but nothing compared to the nausea experienced from chemo), and my quads were thrashed, I prayed strength and healing for Nico and his family.

And when I see a silver-haired runner in front of me looking strong and determined, the one thing I ask of God (besides getting me to the finish line), is that He would strengthen me and allow me to continue running when I am silver-haired.

I absolutely love that Saturday morning’s devotional theme was all about circumstances! The verse was Romans 8:28 which says

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.”

Oswald Chambers’ devotional (from My Utmost for His Highest) that morning was this:

“In the life of a saint there is no such thing as chance. God by His providence brings you into circumstances that you can’t understand at all, but the Spirit of God understands. God brings you to places, among people, and into certain conditions to accomplish a definite purpose through the intercession of the Spirit in you.”

Reading this right before leaving the hotel for the race shuttle gave me so much peace and joy. I couldn’t wait to see how this day would unfold!

My circumstances did not change my love for running God’s race last Saturday. Even with three porta-potty stops, no PR, and thrashed quads, I won that day.

*12/11/15 Revel Canyon City Marathon folks sent out personalized videos of all runners this morning.  Here’s mine: