I recently read that one of Jesus’ main purposes on Earth was not to “teach” His disciples but to “unlearn” them.
I’ve been pondering this thought a lot lately. Having been a teacher for the past ten years, of course, this notion immediately struck a chord. What came to mind when I saw the word “unlearn?” I thought of bad habits, faulty procedures, and negative thought patterns that needed to be corrected. Funny thing…I don’t remember anyone ever having to teach bad habits. But it stands to reason that for something to be UN-learned, it first had to be learned, right?
Okay, as a former teacher, I have to start with some small, tangible examples:
Bad habits – eating dinner in front of the TV, letting the water run while brushing teeth, not leaving enough time in the morning to read God’s Word
Faulty procedures – static stretches before running, not labeling the flour and powdered sugar canisters in the kitchen, letting gas tank run down to fumes before filling up
Negative thought patterns – “if I want something done, I should just do it myself,” “Pinterest is only for perfect moms,” “I’m fat.”
Maybe some of those aren’t exactly small as they have had large and far reaching impact during different seasons of my life. Which leads me to why I started this post and a Bible verse that comes to mind:
“And the cares of this world, the deceitfulness of riches, and the desires for other things entering in choke the Word, and it becomes unfruitful.” Mark 4:19 (NKJV)
I’m learning a lot about myself now that I am “self-employed.”
I’ve always said that I could never be self-employed.
For twenty-nine years – since the day I met Dave – I’ve been saying this because I have watched and lived and loved and hated and argued and cried and ignored and celebrated all that comes with being married to a self-employed man. Dave was wired by our Creator to be self-employed. He’s a visionary. He’s a long-term planner. He’s thick skinned. He’s a numbers person. He left a secure job with a fairly reliable income. He did this during an historically low time in the marketplace. And against the better judgement of some friends and family. Sounds to me like what the original disciples were called to do. Ah…the disciples were self-employed, too!
And he actually enjoys the business he has built from the ground up the last twenty plus years.
He has learned what it takes to ride the cycle that is the real estate market and the economy. He has learned to enjoy and capitalize on the “fat years” and throw nets on the other side of the boat during the “lean years.” He has dealt with the best of humanity and some of the worst. He has worked eighteen hour days. One time he came home at 5 am – which woke me up – and he pretended like he was just getting out of bed instead of getting into bed.
Years ago during some of Dave’s nail-biter, putting out fire after fire, juggling and resuscitating multiple deals kind of weeks, I noticed he’d come home with ovals imprinted into his forehead. I didn’t think much of it until a brief period of time when I worked in his office and saw him on his phone – calm but tense – with fingers pressed into his forehead. This went on all day as I observed from my windowed office across the hall. So, now when Dave comes home and it seems to have been a rough day, I ask “Was it a three or four finger day?”
And speaking of when Dave comes home, he learned a great habit from a great man, Raymond Tang.
His dad made it a habit to come home from work each day with a smile on his face no matter how bad the day. He also made it a habit to show how much he loved his mom with public displays of affection which mom always blushed at but clearly enjoyed despite her scolding “Raymond, not in front of the kids!”
So, Dave set out twenty-seven years ago to be that kind of husband and dad. I would say that Raymond Tang would be quite proud of his oldest son.
After experiencing first hand what it takes to run a successful business, I now have a new appreciation of the even bigger accomplishment of coming home to your family with a smile on your face each day. You see, I have recently allowed the cares and struggles of this new season in my life to choke out the truly important. I have allowed concerns over things I can’t control rob me of daily joy.
I am learning that I hate not being in control. Perhaps as a former teacher, the daily classroom control fed that part of me. I am learning that I crave daily affirmation. Third graders definitely had a way of making me feel like a rock star… even on my worst days. And I am learning that I’m not very good at letting go.
In Philippians 4, Paul wrote one of my all time fave running verses:
“I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.” (NLT)
But the verse immediately before this has become my nemesis lately:
“I know that I have not yet reached that goal, but there is one thing I always do. Forgetting the past and straining toward what is ahead…” (NCV)
Until recently, I thought Paul was saying we should forget past mistakes and not dwell on failures. Yes, we should. BUT it never occurred to me that he is also referring to past successes and “the good ol’ days.” This ability to let go of the past – good and bad – frees us up to run another race without the excess baggage of previous good or bad performances. I keep reading running articles lately about letting go of the pressure to PR every race. Hyper-focusing on bad running habits, faulty procedures, and negative thought patterns. This self-imposed pressure can suck the joy out of running.
Not a coincidence that I’m reminded lately to go back to the basics in my running. To remember why I started this business of running. And just enjoying each run.
Essentially, I am unlearning how to run.
And not just on the race course but off…
How do I be the best me in this next season of life?
As for those bad habits, faulty procedures, and negative thought patterns, I suppose I need to not allow them to suck the joy out of my day. After all, I know better. God’s very Word has taught me better. Each day is a new opportunity – a new race. Am I willing to let go of everything from the smallest pet peeve to my deepest regrets to my most prized accomplishments? Am I willing to unlearn that which is now holding me captive?
When I think about what is at stake, why wouldn’t I? And what exactly is at stake?
Crossing the finish line each day with a smile.
