Recently, I sat down with each of my store employees to go over sample blank performance evaluations. The purpose was to help familiarize new employees with job expectations early on so that when the real evaluation time came, there would be no surprises. Some of them still looked nervous. I don’t know why since I’m just about the most unintimidating person I know. Ha, ha.
The mere thought of being evaluated by another human being strikes fear in most people.
Similarly, most folks get a little nervous when it comes to job interviews. I haven’t been the interviewee in over a decade, but I remember going into interviews with some level of anxiety even though I was prepared and confident in my qualifications. Now that I am on the other side of the desk as the interviewer, I still get nervous. Why? After all, I’m not the one needing the job. Exactly.
When I think about the times I have interviewed for various positions, I know how much certain jobs have meant to me and had the potential for changing the course of my life – and the lives of my family members. When I interview candidates, it is important to me that I get the best and truest representation of who they are during our short time together. To that end, I have to do MY part in communicating who we are as a company, our product, job expectations, and potential for growth. I have to “sell” them on why they would want to work for me.
It just occurred to me that I didn’t exactly interview for THIS position. If you had told me a year ago I would be a business owner of a growing company in a different part of the country, I might have questioned your grasp of reality.
So, here I am two months after the store’s Grand Opening, 25 new employees, Southwest Rapid Rewards points at their highest, as well as six full and half marathons completed – all in this first quarter of 2015. It was about time for my own quarterly performance evaluation – only I wasn’t expecting it.
On this particular day, God called me into His office while I was running up a hill at one of my favorite regular spots – the Upper Rim Trail at Lafayette Reservoir.
I’ve said before that I often run to clear my head and “get real” with God. It’s just Him and me whether it’s on the trails or on the road. No cell phone. No Facebook. Everything said is held in the strictest confidentiality.
This first quarter of 2015 has been a mental and emotional roller coaster with exhilarating descents as well as climbs leaving me wondering where’s the top and what’s around the next turn. As a new business owner of a store three time zones away, my OCD nature is often gripping onto the safety harness with white knuckles. Balancing family life, traveling, and business is unchartered territory for me. Why has this first quarter been such a surprising ride?
A friend of mine offered the analogy that for the past ten years I’ve been working in a “cocoon” of sorts. Cocoon? Meaning I’ve been sheltered, or that huge transformation was on the horizon, or that I’ve just emerged from the chrysalis and am learning to use my wings?
I was also told recently by a family member that I over think – often trying too hard to assign purpose to every little thing. As a teacher, I have spent the past four years enthusiastically, passionately trying to teach third graders how to navigate their eight year old lives as if they were on a race course. I could liken any situation they came across to Bible verses that referenced perseverance, endurance, pressing on, discipline, and winning.
I loved seeing kids make those personal connections. I got to go to work each day knowing I was not only a teacher, but a coach and a cheerleader. It was a very special time in my life. And one with which I grew very comfortable.
Taking that step of faith to leave “my happy place” aka comfort zone was the hardest decision I have ever made. I didn’t realize how much I depended on the structure and predictability of a daily classroom routine.
As much as teachers may loathe writing objectives and standards into EVERY single lesson plan and activity, it is a built-in checks and balance system for keeping our focus on student learning, pace, and the master plan that leads to 24 little ones graduating from your class 180 days later.
Wait. Did I just confess that I miss writing objectives and standards in lesson plans?? This confession must not leave this room. It must remain in my confidential personnel file only to be released at a time mutually agreed upon by my Employer and myself. Well, that time is now.
I started writing this blog in my head on a trail run a few weeks ago when my Employer called me into His office.
My evaluation took on the standard “sandwich” format with areas of improvement sandwiched between encouragement and strengths. I was encouraged by His Creation that day as it was perfect running weather and clear skies revealed nearby Mt. Diablo in all its splendor.
I was strengthened as He reminded me of His Word encouraging me to “press on” and keep my eyes fixed on the ultimate prize. I felt really good and strong that day on those hills and was reminded of His healing nature since I was recovering from the Napa and Oakland Marathons in March. My last business trip was fruitful which reminded me He is my Provider as long as I choose to abide in Him. (John 15:5) He was pleased with my seeking Him in new ways.
And then came the “needs improvement” part of the evaluation…
As I ran up the next hill on that beautiful day, He let me know that He wanted me to NOT be such an “adrenaline junkie.”
Everyone knows you get a certain rush and high from running – especially if you happen to PR. What could be bad about that, I argued back. But running is healthy and it’s been a driving force in building my confidence and seeing the parallels in life with what the Apostle Paul called “running God’s race!” Ah, yes. And for that He has been pleased.
However, He showed me that I’ve been selectively choosing the areas in my life that I wanted to apply those “cool” verses about running.
Last year I read the book Run to Overcome by 2014 Boston Marathon winner Meb Keflezighi. One of his favorite verses is also mine:
“Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.” 1Corinthians 9:24 NIV
Another translation says “Run to win!” Who wouldn’t love that verse or make it their running mantra?! But the passage doesn’t end there. It goes on to say:
“Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly.” 1Corinthians 9:25-26 NIV
And this is where my first quarter evaluation ended. I realized I had stopped living with daily objectives and standards in my lesson plans. I allowed myself to go with the flow of the new business and my race schedule – it felt like I was running aimlessly. It was dictating how I defined success and my identity – which was great when things went well. It’s great to see your employees doing what they’re supposed to be doing, getting awesome Yelp reviews, generating higher daily sales figures, etc. It’s great to finish a race and hang another medal on my wall. Adrenaline rush material.
Instead of living from one business trip to the next OR from one race to another, I need to be very intentional about each day – even each moment. In the classroom, I became quite good at seeing everything that came my way as teaching opportunities for my students. Now my classroom looks different, and I am more of a student than a teacher as I am learning to live life outside the cocoon. I had always encouraged my students to look for ways to shine for Jesus outside the classroom. But as a teacher in a Christian school, isn’t that “expected?” I’m learning that I now need to be more intentional in being God’s example in unexpected places.
My Employer encouraged me to continue to hope in Him; to allow Him to renew my strength…to make Isaiah 40:31 the daily objective, and not just for races. To remember He is the standard for success.
I want so much to run with Him; but sometimes I forget that I need to walk daily with Him first. He promises that I can soar on wings like eagles… Or, perhaps, like butterflies that have just emerged from their cocoons.
